Having Fun

Having Fun

English Jokes

30/10/2020

Good Manners
A teacher was giving her class of small children a lesson on good manners.
"Suppose, by mistake, you step on a lady's foot. What do you do?"
"I say pardon me."
"Very good. Now suppose the lady, to reward you, gives you a coin. What do you do?"
"Step on the other foot to get a second one."


Don't generalize
In a school in the States, the teacher had just described Christopher Columbus' discovery of America.
"Just imagine, children, if he had not risked the ocean, you would not be here today. Wasn't he marvellous?"
All the children cheered, except one.
"Aren't you pleased young fellow?"
"No miss."
"Why?"
"I'm an Indian."


Doubled
A man complained to his neighbour at the bar, "Yesterday, I thought I'd solved all my problems. I thought I'd found a way to forget my mother-in-law. I went to the pub and got drunk."
"Did it work?"
"No, when I got home I found two of her waiting."


Boozed
"What's this I hear, old pal? Your wife's left you, old man? Well, why don't you go home and drown your sorrows* in booze**?"
"Impossible."
"No booze?"
"No sorrow."


The man and God
Man: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" 
God: "So you would love her." 
Man: "But God, why did you make her so dumb?" 
God: "So she would love you." 


The two balloons
Two balloons are floating across the desert. 
One balloon says to the other: 
"Look out for the cactussssssssssss!" 


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